- For the episode, see Whistleblower.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Michael: [on YouTube video] There is nothing wrong, nor will there ever be wrong with any Sabre printers. Case closed. [phone rings, Michael picks it up] Michael Scott, as seen on TV.
- Todd Packer: [high-pitched voice] I saw you on the news and I want to pinch your tiny wiener... [normal voice] It's Packer!
- Michael: OH! Pack Man, I thought you were a girl!
- Andy: So unfair. Even if I thought that our printers killed baby seals, I would not be a whistleblower. The Bernards, for generations, have silenced whistleblowers. It's how we made all our money. Woody Guthrie wrote a song about us. [sings] Old Mr. Bernard, old Mr. Bernard, who have you silenced today?
- Michael: I don't know what the best plan is, Pam. Oh god... my mind is going a mile an hour.
- Pam: That fast?
- Jo: When I was growing up, there was nothing better than being a big old business tycoon. And I thought I'd break that glass ceiling and be a hero to all those little girls out there... and they'd make a Barbie out of me.
- Michael: Hmm, hmm.
- Jo: I, did I sell cheap printers? I do. But if I have to go out there in front of the press and make one of them public apology recalls, I mean, it's all I'll ever be remembered for. Nobody will want to play with my Barbie.
- Michael: You know, I would be willing, under the right circumstances, to do that for you.
- Jo: Oh honey, surely you don't want that.
- Michael: I, I surely do, and don't call me honey.
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