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For the episode, see The Secret.
See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
Jim: Yeah, on the booze cruise, I told Michael about some feelings I used to have for Pam. I, had just broken up with Katy and, had a couple of drinks, and... I confided in the world's worst confidante.

Dwight: There are several different ways to tell if a perp is lying. The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hands, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.

Michael: Dwight! Hey is it me or does this place smell like up-dog?
Dwight: What's up-dog?
Michael: Gotcha! [Laughing] Oh, God. [Low] Crap! Nothin' how ya doing?
Dwight: Good. How are you doing?
Jim: [Mouthing] So close.
Michael: [Low] Damn it.
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