- For the episode, see The Promotion.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Michael: N– well, to be fair, Jim… James… Jimothy… To be fair, Jimothy, the– ah, that sounds weird. Are you okay with being called Jim?
- Kelly: I love rivalries-- Michael or Jim, Paris or Nicole, Heidi or L.C. It's so much fun. But I guess if I'm really thinking about it and answering your question honestly, I'd have to go with L.C. Heidi's a bad friend, and her skin is terrible.
- Dwight: I deserve that promotion, not Jim. (sighs) Man, it makes me want to put him in a triangle choke-hold, and force him down to the ground and just keep pressing and pressing, and flip him over and put him in a hammer-lock, and he's gasping and he's panting every last breath, and the crowd goes crazy, and BOOM! I emerge victorious! (Claps hands) Ha-ha! $18,000 and a chance at the title! Hoo-Ha!
- Creed: (To Meredith) Hey, why haven't we ever, umm... (likely referring to sexual activity)
- Meredith: We have.
- Michael: Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.
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