Dunderpedia: The Office Wiki
Dunderpedia: The Office Wiki
See episode The Fight

Dwight: Where is my desk?

Jim: That is weird.

Dwight: This is not funny. This is totally unprofessional.

Jim: Ok, well, you’re the one who lost the desk.

Dwight: I didn’t lose my desk.

Jim: Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?

Dwight: Okay, who moved my desk?

Jim: I think you should retrace your steps.

Dwight: Ok, I am going to tell Michael and this entire office will be punished!

Jim: Colder… warmer… little warmer… there you go, ooh, warmer… warmer… warmer… warmer… warmer … cold, cold, cold, back up… ooh, ooh, warmer, hot, red hot, hot, very hot.

Dwight: [In bathroom, answers phone] Dwight Schrute.

Jim: [On the phone with Dwight] Hi, Dwight, um, what sort of discounts are we giving on the 20 lb white model.

Dwight: Jim, I’ve given you this information, like, twenty times.

Jim: I know.

Dwight: It’s by the ream?

Jim: Uh, yeah, ream.

Dwight: …now, $9.78, signs and discounts 7%.

Jim: Ok, thank you, gotta get back to work.

Dwight: Wash your hands, Kevin.


Michael: Look, Dwight is a wuss. When we rented ‘Armageddon’…

Dwight: No!

Michael: … he cried at the end of it. He did.

Dwight: Michael, I told you, it was because it was New Year’s Eve and it began to snow at exactly midnight.

Michael: Oh, Bruce Willis. Are they going to leave him on the asteroid?

Dwight: Ok, I’ll punch you.

Michael: Ok, here we go. Alright, come on.

Dwight: Kiyah!

Michael: Fuuuaaaahhhhh… oohhhhh!

Dwight: Did I want to harm Michael? The one man I’ve been hired to protect? No, I did not.


Dwight: I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran. Killed twenty men then spent the rest of the war in an Allied Prison Camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.


Jim: We're all getting excited to see this fight...the Albany branch is working right through lunch - to prevent downsizing - but Michael? He decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we could all go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight...Fight!...Fight...Fight!...


Ryan’s Voicemail: Seven new messages. First New Message. [Michael’s voice] “Hi, Ryan. This is Saddam Hussein.” Next new message. “Hi, Ryan. This is your girlfriend… and I’m mad!”


Michael:  I told Dwight that there is honor in losing. Which, as we all know, is completely ridiculous, but there is, however, honor in making a loser feel better which is what I just did for Dwight. Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. And I think I proved that today at the dojo.



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