- For the episode, see The Carpet.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Ryan: Jim has been looking at me, kind of, a lot, all week. I would be creeped out by it, but, it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.
- Michael: When I was in training, many years ago—not so long ago—I worked side by side with a fellow named Todd Packer, and together we rocked the office. Packer and I once spent the whole day with our pants off, and when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy.
- Oscar: What happened in Michael's office was wrong. I understand it; it makes sense! But it was still wrong.
- Michael: It was a hate crime; and I hated it!
- Todd: Hey, listen, did you get that package I left for you?
- Michael: Uh. No. Did anybody see a package here today? No. How big was it?
- Todd: It was pretty big.
- Michael: Really?
- Todd: Yeah!
- Michael: Did you see a big package? Where did you leave it?
- Todd: Look in the middle of your office.
- Michael: Really? Guys, did you see a big package in my office?
- Roy: You mean, the thing?
- Todd: [laughing]
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