Dwight: Today, smoking is going to save lives. Michael: Nobody should have to go to work thinking, "Oh, this is the place that I might die today." That's what a hospital is for. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to... An office is a place where dreams come true.
Stanley: It's true - around this office in the past, I have been a little, abrupt with people, (clips from various episodes back him up)...but the doctor said, if I can't find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I'm going to die.
Andy: A throne for Your Highness!
Stanley: I'm not sittin' in a wheelchair.
Michael: No debate - you are going to sit in that wheelchair until you are back on your feet...
Stanley: I'm going to die.
Pam: We don't normally download films illegally...because, we're honest, hard-working people...
Jim: ...And we don't know how.
Pam: But, Andy does, so we have to watch it with him.
Jim: Punishment fits the crime.
Kevin: Michael, I think you're what's stressing everybody out!
Pam: What could Jim have said to make my dad wanna leave my mom? And at what point in our marriage is he gonna say it to me?!
Oscar: I consider myself a good person......But I'm gonna try to make him cry.
Meredith: Michael, you are the reason I drink...you are the reason I live to forget.
Dwight: It's very unusual for Michael not to show up to work. My guess? He's either deeply depressed, or an icicle has snapped off his roof and impaled his brain...He has this terrible habit of standing directly underneath them, and staring up at them - and I always say, "Michael, take two steps back, and stare at them from the side!", and he's like, "No, I like the way they look standing directly underneath them!"...It was only a matter of time.
Jim: So what'd he say...was it my fault?
Pam: Yeah...He said that you...told him how much you love me...about how you feel when I walk in a room, and...about how you've never for a second that I'm the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with...I guess he's never felt that with my mom, even at their best.
Pam: When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates - my kids are gonna be right about that...I guess it also means that, sometimes, love affairs look different to the people inside them.