Jim feigns exasperation with his PC and says he must "restart... again." He then offers an Altoid to an enthusiastic Dwight. In a re-creation of Pavlov's experiment, Jim has spent several weeks conditioning Dwight to desire a mint when he hears the default Windows "unlock workstation" sound.
Michael says he's been asked to be a part of the wedding party in Phyllis' upcoming wedding to Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration. Michael will push her father's wheelchair down the aisle, which he likens to "co-giving away the bride." Phyllis reveals she gave Michael a role in order to secure six weeks off to enjoy her honeymoon, a branch first.
Michael says he has attended only one other wedding, that of his mother to his stepfather when he was ten. In a darkened conference room, Michael plays a video of that ceremony, in which he wet his pants while serving as ringbearer, only to scream "I hate you" to his stepfather and run away. A poorly trained dog serves as an alternate ringbearer before urinating everywhere.
The wedding invitations are strikingly similar to the scuttled nuptials of Pam and Roy, as pointed out by Pam, who holds both up for comparison. Even a stylized P & R logo is identical, though in this case referring to "Phyllis & Robert". Pam says receiving the invitation felt like being invited to her own wedding, to which she "was, like 'didn't I already call this off?'"
In the church, Dwight expresses dissatisfaction with the large crowd, wondering "Who are these people?" and hoping the world is overcome by a new plague. Jim suggests many of them are likely wedding crashers and confirms that Dwight has seen the film of the same name. In an interview, Dwight says he saw Wedding Crashers accidentally when he entered the wrong theater after purchasing a ticket to Grizzly Man, only to watch half of the Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson vehicle before determining his error.
Dwight decides to become a bouncer to extricate anyone crashing Phyllis and Bob's big day.
Michael approaches Phyllis — whom he says looks "as beautiful as the first day you worked at Dunder-Mifflin" — as her friend helps with her makeup. Michael tells her it is okay to vomit, and that he already did. He begins to offer words of wisdom, but his train of thought is disrupted by pungent flatulence of unknown origin. He ends the chat trying to adjust her hair "to cover that bald spot".
Kevin congratulates Toby on his very attractive date, but does not believe Toby met her at the gym. Kelly asks Meredith to scoot off of her dress, which Meredith criticizes as it is all white, a wedding taboo. Kelly says she had to wear it due to a fashion emergency. In an interview, Kelly defends her "emergency", saying "I look really good in white." As Phyllis enters the chapel, Pam exclaims "That's my dress!" During the procession, Phyllis walks quickly, and Michael pushes her father to catch up, weaving and running the chair over the hem of Phyllis' dress until the old man pulls the brakes on the wheelchair and rises to his feet to escort his daughter to the altar.
An irate Michael exclaims to the camera "This is bull—!" He then tries to walk the chair, with its locked wheels, down the aisle before dragging it to the front and forcibly inserting himself into the line of groomsmen in front of a confused audience. In an interview, he explains that her father stole the show. Michael's antics only get worse when he enthusiastically announces Bob and Phyllis' names as the new couple, only interrupting their nuptials and confusing the audience more.
Mid-ceremony, Creed arrives and places his card on a gift from another guest, tossing the original card in the trash.
At the reception, Dwight confronts Phyllis' Uncle Al after witnessing him buttering a bread roll and stuffing it into his jacket pocket. Al is unable to say the names of the happy couple, and is evicted.
Prior to a set by Scrantonicity, drummer/vocalist Kevin announces a very serious situation: Uncle Al is missing, and he is described as "old, with brown eyes and dementia." As Kevin rips into "Roxanne," a look of concern washes over Dwight's face. The viewer then witnesses the cameraman standing by as Uncle Al wanders part way into a darkened four-lane street, before heading back to the curb.
Roy approaches Pam as she sits alone and starts a conversation about the roses on the table, as they were the same color as flowers he gave to her at their prom. Pam tells Roy that Phyllis borrowed all of Pam's wedding ideas for her own ceremony and reception. Roy admits he wasn't very involved in the planning of their scrapped wedding.
During the toasts, Michael snags the microphone, introduces himself several times, and announces that "for the next 40 minutes, I'll be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis and Bob." His attempt to use a clichéd dictionary definition of "wedding" goes awry as he reads the definition of "welding" and says the couple are like gold medals. After saying Phyllis' matronly looks belie her high school nickname — "Easy Rider" — Bob Vance throws Michael out over his objections that he is owed a speech after Phyllis' dad upstaged him during the ceremony.
Pam and Jim meet at the bar and Jim encourages her to show off her dance moves. Pam notes that she is a "dorky" dancer, but Jim says that he thinks it's "cute." Michael attempts to sneak back into the reception in the shadow of another guest, and pleads that he simply wants to sit, eat cake and dance to one song, but bouncer Dwight refuses to let Michael back in, calling him "a real-life wedding crasher." Michael is later seen through a window hopping up to get a quick glance inside the reception.
Ryan deflects the bouquet away from Kelly into the hands of Toby's date, who celebrates by giving a big kiss to an elated Toby; immediately after, Toby is seen grinning and exclaiming "Toby! Yeah!"
Guests make their exit
Jim stops short of admitting to the camera that he would date Pam if she expressed any interest (by dismissing the premise as "hypothetical"). Roy pays the band $20 to play Jewel's "You Were Meant for Me" and asks Pam outside to dance. Nearby, Dwight and Angela are swaying to the song, and Michael sings along by himself. Roy and Pam decide to leave together. As he witnesses the two leave together, Jim reinforces to the camera his happiness with Karen, who belts out Police classic "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" with Scrantonicity.
Michael is chatting with Uncle Al about how a wedding ceremony requires a great team. The mention of great teams reminds Uncle Al of the Boston Celtics, but Michael tells him to "keep it together, I listened to you for, like, a half an hour, and most of it went over my head." Phyllis and Bob emerge, followed by the guests. Michael apologizes to Phyllis, but she thanks him for finding Uncle Al, kisses Michael on the cheek and the newlyweds ride into the night in a huge Vance Refrigeration van trailing aluminum cans.
In a flashback to the reception, Michael inserts himself into Phyllis and Bob's cake-cutting moment, tells Phyllis she looks like a clown and asks to have cake smeared on him. He ultimately smears frosting on himself.
The Season Three DVD contains a number of deleted scenes. Notable cut scenes include:
- Extension of the "pungent" scene. Michael opens Phyllis' door while Bob is outside, allowing him to see her before the wedding.
- In a talking head interview, Angela explains that she is offended by modern weddings.
- Phyllis tells Angela that she seated her next to someone special.
- In a talking head interview, Kevin discusses the women he has proposed to.
- When Pam points out to Phyllis that all her wedding ideas were stolen from Pam, Phyllis apologetically offers to make an announcement. Pam realizes she is being petty.
- Dwight checks names against the guest list, and Jim goads Dwight into also checking identification.
- Michael, for no apparent reason, tells Pam that "This is Phyllis's day, not yours."
- Karen is addicted to her Blackberry.
- Angela meets Dennis, Phyllis's veterinarian, a very religious man. The two bond over feline leukemia.
- Michael asks one of Phyllis's bridesmaids for something he can use in his speech. She suggests, "She hates her boss."
- Stanley and Terri don't appear to be enjoying themselves.
- In a talking head interview, Dwight describes how he knows Uncle Al was a wedding crasher.
- Michael takes Bob Vance's seat at the wedding table.
- Creed explains wedding traditions to Oscar.
- In a talking head interview, Oscar discusses gay marriage.
- Michael asks Phyllis how he can help. She tells him to go to his seat. Michael takes Toby's date's seat, and Michael asks Toby how much he paid for her. In a talking head interview, Toby expresses frustration that nobody believes that they met at the gym.
- Additional scenes of Michael's speech.
- In a talking head interview outside, Michael has a bitter imaginary telephone conversation with Phyllis.
- Dennis takes his leave of Angela and asks for her telephone number. Angela tells him she's not interested because she's already having intimate relations with someone. Dennis apologizes. "Phyllis neglected to mention your promiscuity."
- Outside the reception hall, Michael talks to the minister who mistakes Michael for a spurned suitor.
- In a talking head interview, Michael explains why he didn't steal the minister's clothes to sneak back into the reception hall.
- Meredith and Kelly say goodbye to Pam.
- Michael sees Phyllis's father using a chair lift.
- In a talking head interview, Michael talks about Phyllis and Bob as the couple get into Bob's van.
- Michael rides the chair lift.
- Stanley's disgust at Jim and Karen bringing a toaster as a wedding gift is a callback to the episode Gay Witch Hunt in which Stanley laments being stuck with an extra toaster after Pam cancelled the wedding and returned the wedding gift he gave them.
- Altoid is a brand of breath mint.
- Jim employs classical conditioning, a phenomenon first described by scientist Ivan Pavlov.
- Always a bridesmaid, never a bride is a saying which means that a person always gets close to but never achieves her life goal. Michael applies the saying literally.
- In Western tradition, the wedding is the responsibility of the bride's family. Phyllis opts for a traditional white wedding. Giving away the bride is a symbolic gesture traditionally performed by the bride's father in which he escorts the bride to the altar. The ringbearer is typically a young boy. The color white represents purity of heart and, in popular culture, virginity. According to the tradition of tossing the bouquet, the woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to be married.
- Wedding Crashers is a 2005 comedy film about two men who attend weddings uninvited ("crash") to meet women.
- Michael's speech confuses "wedding" with "welding" and "metals" with "medals".
- The Princess Bride is an adventure comedy. Michael begins to quote a line from the movie.
- In the early 2000s, it became fashionable to nickname a celebrity couple by combining the names of the two people. The first couple for which this was done was Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, resulting in the nickname "Bennifer".
- Easy Rider was a 1969 movie about a pair of adventure-seeking motorcyclists. Michael's use of the term carries a sexual connotation.
- The Boston Celtics are a professional basketball team. Robert Parish played on the team during the early 1980s.
- Let them eat cake is popularly attributed not to former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher but rather to Marie Antoinette.
Connections to Previous Episodes
- Dwight wears the same tuxedo he wore in Casino Night. The tuxedo served as burial clothing for his grandfather.
- Steve Carell as Michael Scott
- Rainn Wilson as Dwight Schrute
- John Krasinski as Jim Halpert
- Jenna Fischer as Pam Beesly
- B.J. Novak as Ryan Howard
- David Denman as Roy Anderson
- Leslie David Baker as Stanley Hudson
- Brian Baumgartner as Kevin Malone
- Kate Flannery as Meredith Palmer
- Mindy Kaling as Kelly Kapoor
- Angela Kinsey as Angela Martin
- Paul Lieberstein as Toby Flenderson
- Oscar Nunez as Oscar Martinez
- Phyllis Smith as Phyllis Lapin
- Bobby Ray Shafer as Bob Vance
- Rashida Jones as Karen Filippelli
- Creed Bratton (actor) as Creed Bratton
- Joanne Carlsen as Terri Hudson