Unless otherwise indicated, the speaker is Michael Scott.
| Episode | Said To | Circumstances |
|---|---|---|
| The Dundies | Dwight | Dwight messes up Michael's HR joke. |
| Office Olympics | Dwight | Dwight suggests Michael might fall in love with a 55-year-old woman. |
| The Fire | Dwight | Dwight answers Ryan's question. |
| Christmas Party | Angela | Angela objects to the Yankee Swap. |
| The Injury | Stanley | Stanley jokes that Michael's foot looks like Mailboxes, Etc. |
| The Secret | Himself | He is revealing too much to Pam. |
| Take Your Daughter to Work Day | Dwight | Dwight teaches the kids about Nazis. |
| Drug Testing | Creed | Michael loses control of his anti-drug conference. |
| Casino Night | Stanley | "Will Lady Fortune give me a raise?" |
| The Convention | Dwight | Dwight gives Michael paper airplane advice. |
| The Merger | Dwight (2×) | Dwight competes with Andy to suck up to Michael. |
| A Benihana Christmas | Angela | Angela scolds Michael's date. |
| Ben Franklin | Packer to Karen | Can't believe Karen is Jim's girlfriend. |
| Women's Appreciation | Dwight | Dwight mimics Alien. |
| Michael's Last Dundies | Dwight | Dwight boos.* |
* Deleted scene.