Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.

Dwight: What did you do?!
Kelly: Stop yelling at me!
Dwight: What did you do?!
Kelly: I didn't do anything!
Dwight: What did you learn in there? I bet you learned something there, like how to fashion a sieve. Hmm?
Jim: Hey, what the hell's going on?
Dwight: Why don't you tell Jim what you did at the age of 14.
Kelly: I was kicking it.
Dwight: In juvie.
Jim: What?
Dwight: Juvie-nile detention center? where they send teenagers. What did you do? Kelly: My boyfriend dumped me, so I stole his boat. He told me it was his fathers' boat. I thought it'd be like Thelma & Louise, but with a boat, and it was the worst day of my life, and I can't believe you guys are talking about it on my birthday.
Dwight: I thought you said yesterday was your birthday.
Jim: Hey, you know what? I got you a cake.
Kelly: Really? I want to see the cake.
(we now cut to the kitchen area. Inside are Jim, Dwight, Kelly, and Phyllis Vance. Jim shows a plain cake without flowers and her name.)
Jim: And, ta-da.

Kelly: I hate it. I mean there's nothing on it, on flowers or toys or anything like that. It doesn't even have my name on it. Don't you remember my name? My name is Kelly! (we cut to Jim doing a confession in front of the camera.)

Kelly: What's the theme?
Dwight: Frosting.
Jim: Cake.
Kelly: I can't believe there's no theme. There's always a theme.
Phyllis: There's always a theme.
Dwight: Nice job on the cake, Bozo.
Jim: OK. You know what? Next time, I'll let you get the cake, and I get to scream at the birthday girl.

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