- For the episode, see Initiation.
- See also: Full transcript on transcripts.foreverdreaming.org
- Stanley: I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little, but on Pretzel Day? Well, I like Pretzel Day.
- Dwight: Brain teaser. I have two coins, totaling 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they?
- Ryan: A dime and a nickel.
- Dwight: No. I said one of them is not a nickel.
- Ryan: But the other one is. I've heard that before.
- Dwight: Okay. A man and his son get into a car accident. They are rushed to the hospital. The doctor says, "There is no way I can operate on this boy",
- Ryan: "Because he's my son." The doctor is the boy's mother.
- Dwight: A man is found hanging from the ceiling-
- Ryan: He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself and the ice melted.
- Dwight: A hunter-
- Ryan: It's a polar bear, because you're at the North Pole.
- Dwight: And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed in you.
- Ryan: I don't think you know what you're saying.
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