Health Care Quotes

Dwight: I'm now going to read out loud your submitted medical conditions. When you hear yours read, please raise your hand to indicate that it is real. If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered.
Stanley: What about confidentiality?
Dwight: You know what? You have forfeited that privilege. I have tried to treat you all as adults, but obviously I am the only adult here. Number one, inverted penis.
Meredith: Could you mean vagina? Because if you do, I want that covered.
Dwight: I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy?
Meredith: A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.

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Dwight: OK, great. Dermatitis. Thank you Angela. I'll make sure that's covered. Who wrote this, hysterical one? Anal fissures?

Kevin: That's a real thing.

Dwight:Yeah, but no one here has it.

Kevin: Someone has it.