Dunderpedia: The Office Wiki
Dunderpedia: The Office Wiki

Creed: What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. "What do I do?"... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. "Qua" something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual...quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.

Jim: Hey, Ryan, it's Jim. Look, man, I don't know what's gotten into you lately, but you know what? I really don't care, because you're trying to get rid of me - and I bet you think I don't care enough about this job to actually fight back, but you're wrong, because I do, and I will. So you can keep trying to push me out of this place, but guess what? I'm not going anywhere.

Oscar: Well this is what happened: Ryan's big project was the website - which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, in order to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice...which is what we in the business refer to as "misleading the shareholders" - another good term is "fraud"...The real crime, I think, was the beard.

Jim: Hey, Ryan, it's Jim - you know what? Totally disregard that last voicemail because you obviously have your hands tied.

Jan: If I was 22, and I had lots of time...to have lots of children...then, sure, let's let Michael have a shot at one of them. But, honestly, I need to make this one count.