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:see episode ''[[Drug Testing]]''
 
:see episode ''[[Drug Testing]]''
   
'''[[Jim]]:''' So, yesterday, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot - which is unfortunate because, as it turns out, Dwight ''finding'' drugs is more dangerous than most people ''using'' drugs.
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'''[[Jim Halpert|Jim]]:''' So, yesterday, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot - which is unfortunate because, as it turns out, Dwight ''finding'' drugs is more dangerous than most people ''using'' drugs.
 
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'''[[Ryan]]:''' I don't think Michael's ever done drugs...I don't know if anyone's ever offered him any...
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'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]''' I didn't become a Lackawanna volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends... and by the way I haven't.
  +
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  +
'''[[Ryan Howard|Ryan]]:''' I don't think Michael's ever done drugs...I don't know if anyone's ever offered him any...
 
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'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' [[Oscar Martinez|Oscar]] visited Mexico when he was five to attend his great-grandmother's funeral. What does that mean to a United States law enforcement officer? He's a potential drug mule.
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' [[Oscar Martinez|Oscar]] visited Mexico when he was five to attend his great-grandmother's funeral. What does that mean to a United States law enforcement officer? He's a potential drug mule.
 
----
 
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'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' Do you know what this is?<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' Do you know what this is?<br />
'''[[Phyllis]]:''' Yes, it's marijuana.<br />
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'''[[Phyllis Vance|Phyllis]]:''' Yes, it's marijuana.<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' How do you know that?<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' How do you know that?<br />
'''[[Phyllis]]:''' It's labeled.
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'''[[Phyllis Vance|Phyllis]]:''' It's labeled.
 
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'''[[Creed]]:''''' That'' is ''Northern Lights cannabis indica''.<br />
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'''[[Creed Bratton|Creed]]:''''' That'' is ''Northern Lights cannabis indica''.<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' No...it's marijuana.
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' No...it's marijuana.
 
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'''[[Jim]]:''' I'm just saying...that you can't be sure that it ''wasn't'' you.<br />
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'''[[Jim Halpert|Jim]]:''' I'm just saying...that you can't be sure that it ''wasn't'' you.<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' That's ridiculous - of course it wasn't me!<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' That's ridiculous - of course it wasn't me!<br />
'''[[Jim]]:''' Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember...<br />
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'''[[Jim Halpert|Jim]]:''' Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember...<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' I ''would'' remember!<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' I ''would'' remember!<br />
'''[[Jim]]:''' Well how ''could'' you if it just erased your memory?<br />
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'''[[Jim Halpert|Jim]]:''' Well how ''could'' you if it just erased your memory?<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' That's not how it works!<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' That's not how it works!<br />
'''[[Jim]]:''' Now, ''how'' do you know how it works?<br />
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'''[[Jim Halpert|Jim]]:''' Now, ''how'' do you know how it works?<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' Knock it off - ''I'm'' interviewing ''you!''<br />
 
'''[[Dwight Schrute|Dwight]]:''' Knock it off - ''I'm'' interviewing ''you!''<br />
'''[[Jim]]:''' No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here - now exactly how much pot did you smoke?!
+
'''[[Jim Halpert|Jim]]:''' No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here - now exactly how much pot did you smoke?!
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----
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'''Jim:''' You look cute today, Dwight. <br />'''Dwight:''' Thanks, girl. 
   
 
{{episodenav|prev=[[Michael's Birthday Quotes|Michael's Birthday]]|current=Drug Testing |next= [[Conflict Resolution Quotes|Conflict Resolution]]}}
 
{{episodenav|prev=[[Michael's Birthday Quotes|Michael's Birthday]]|current=Drug Testing |next= [[Conflict Resolution Quotes|Conflict Resolution]]}}

Latest revision as of 00:37, June 14, 2020

see episode Drug Testing

Jim: So, yesterday, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot - which is unfortunate because, as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs.


Dwight I didn't become a Lackawanna volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends... and by the way I haven't.


Ryan: I don't think Michael's ever done drugs...I don't know if anyone's ever offered him any...


Dwight: Oscar visited Mexico when he was five to attend his great-grandmother's funeral. What does that mean to a United States law enforcement officer? He's a potential drug mule.


Dwight: Do you know what this is?
Phyllis: Yes, it's marijuana.
Dwight: How do you know that?
Phyllis: It's labeled.


Creed: That is Northern Lights cannabis indica.
Dwight: No...it's marijuana.


Jim: I'm just saying...that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight: That's ridiculous - of course it wasn't me!
Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember...
Dwight: I would remember!
Jim: Well how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight: That's not how it works!
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight: Knock it off - I'm interviewing you!
Jim: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here - now exactly how much pot did you smoke?!


Jim: You look cute today, Dwight. 
Dwight: Thanks, girl. 

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Michael's Birthday Drug Testing Conflict Resolution
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