The Convention Quotes


 * See episode The Convention

Michael: Um... find out if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay?

Pam: You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months.

Michael: Eight months?

Pam: Yeah.

Michael: I don't even know if I'll want a baby in eight months.

Pam: Yeah, you probably won't

Michael: You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven’t had a baby, and you haven’t had a baby…

Pam: No, Michael.

Michael: Twenty years.

Pam: No, Michael.

Michael: Thirty.

Pam: Sure.

Michael: It’s a deal. Angela: In the Martin family, we like to say, "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." That's code for "check out the slut."

Creed: There’s my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?

Angela: That was for per diem, for Philadelphia.

Meredith: That town smells like cheese steaks.

Angela: That town is full of history!

Creed: Andrea’s the office bitch. You’ll get used to her. [introducing himself] Creed. Michael: I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. It’s like the firemen. You don’t leave your brothers behind, even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.

Jim: You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were...and then he spoke.

Jim: Oh, no, sorry, it’s an inside joke. There’s this bartender at Stamford who, uh… you know what? You’d just have to be there.

Michael: Wish I was. I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday. Jim: Michael…

Michael: I get it! No, no, I totally get it. He made a better paper airplane, Stamford is better in sales… I get it. We had some fun. We had some laughs. And that’s just…

Jim: Wait, wait. I didn’t transfer because of you. You’re a good boss. You’re a great boss.

Michael: I’m not better than Josh.

Jim: Michael, it’s not about… I transferred because of Pam.

Michael: Oh my God. You don’t even know. She’s single now.

Jim: No, I just… I heard something about that. It’s just, I kind of put it all on the line. Twice, actually. And she said no. Twice. Michael: Now, would you do the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir? [lights go out, leaving Michael’s black light on] Ha, ha, ha.

Dwight: Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Michael: Whoa. What are those stains?

Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.

Michael: Oh, God, I hope it’s urine.