The Meeting Quotes


 * See episode, The Meeting

Michael: I'm going in for a procedure today. Oscar:  Is everything okay? Michael: Yeah, it's routine. I'm just a little bit scared. Oscar: I'm sure everything will be fine. [pulls up a chair] What do you? What's the procedure, if you don't mind my asking? Michael: It is a colonoscopy. Oscar: Okay. Michael: In your experience, what should I be expecting in terms of sensation or emotions? [Oscar looks irritated and frustrated] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shaundry? Oscar: Oh my God. Michael: My main concern, should I have a safe word? Oscar: Yeah. [gets up and walks out]

Michael: If you are lying to me right now Pam, your baby is gonna come out a liar. That’s how it works. They inherit things through the breast milk.

Pam: Please don’t talk about my breast milk.

Dwight: Here, get down! He’s not using crutches! Get the camera!

Toby: Get over there! Get over there!

Dwight: Oh, worker’s comp, my ass!

Toby: I can’t believe this. [mistaking Darryl’s sister for Darryl] Hey you, ass****!

Dwight: Toby…

Toby: You gonna eat all that dog food yourself?

Dwight: Ooohhh… [crashes car into garbage cans] Oh man! You okay?

Toby: Just keep going. Jim: I tried to keep Michael in the dark. I should have known that he can do just as much damage in the dark.

Jim: How many times have I asked you to put me up for a branch manager job.

Michael: I never recommended you because I didn’t want to lose you and I didn’t want to lose Pam, [starts to choke up] and now I don’t wanna lose the baby.

Jim: So instead, you screwed me?

Michael: That’s what she…

Jim: No.

Dwight: (reacting to Jim being promoted to co-regional manager) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!