Two Weeks Quotes


 * See episode Two Weeks

Jim: About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying. Kevin: Michael is that scotch?

Michael: Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch. Stanley: Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?

Michael: I have a job.

Andy: For four more days.

Pam: Do you have any leads on a job?

Michael: Pam, what you don’t understand is that at my level you just don’t look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.

Jim: You called any headhunters?

Michael: Any good headhunter knows I am available.

Dwight: Any really good headhunter would storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife,

Jim: Right, cause that’s what we are talking about.

Charles: Uh, I need you to go over this client list and indicate any wrong or false data.

Michael: You’re ‘I need you to’ is my command.

Charles: Okay. Charles: For regional manager I’ve decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons. Dwight: Deutsch… let me see here. That is either an incense dispenser, or a ceremonial sarcophagus.

Pam: Hmm…

Dwight: My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious. Charles: I am aware of the effect I have on women. Kevin: I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He’s a good guy. And he’s super funny. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before he goes. He’s all the way over there. Andy: The whole office feels darker, you know? It’s just a sad dark day.

Phyllis: Andy He’s gone.

Andy: I know.

Phyllis: You don’t have to kiss his ass anymore. Toby: Michael is like a movie on a plane. You know, it’s not great, but it’s something to watch. And when it’s over you’re like… how much time is left on this flight? Now what?