Cafe Disco Quotes


 * See episode Café Disco

Michael: Now I know what the founders of Phillip-Morris felt like. You just want to give people a smooth, fun way to relax and suddenly you're just some terrible monster.

Jim: Oh, so this morning at breakfast, we're having breakfast together, and I just looked up from my cereal and I said, 'You what I want to do today? I wanna marry you'.

Pam: I had just woken up. I didn't look cute. That's how I knew he meant it.

Michael: Charles really did a number on these guys. They are way too focused on work. When I was in charge, this place was like Dave and Buster’s People just hanging out, having, fun, eating apps. I don’t know. It’s like [pause] Dave died or something.

Michael: Daddy’s here and daddy is going to take care of you.

Oscar: Please don’t refer to yourself as our daddy.

Michael: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss da boo boo.

Andy: [baby voice] Wittle Andy is afwaid.

Michael: Andy’s afwaid?

Andy: Yes.

Michael: Are you all afwaid?

Dwight: No.

Michael: Daddy’s here for you. My wittle angels. Ok. I think that I have figured a way to get you guys out of your funk. Dwight: Who tipped you over? Was it Phillip? Dwight: Yeah. Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries.

Michael: I don’t need you to give me a history lesson. Ok?

Dwight: What do you think history is?

Michael: You all just took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.

Creed: Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.

Michael: Hey, thank you, Creed. you’re really getting this place.

Creed: No problem. I’ll just have no idea who’s driving behind me now.

Dwight: I’m gonna with the python.

Phyllis: But the rattler’s so scary.

Dwight: No. Please. I find the rattle soothing. It puts me to sleep.

Phyllis: I think Bob is gonna cheat on me with his new secretary. [she starts to giggle]

Dwight: What’s so funny?

Phyllis: When I say it out loud it’s so silly. [they both laugh]

Phyllis: Wanna dance, Dwight?

Dwight: Ordinarily I would say no but you need to move to reduce lactic acid build-up. Also, this song is fantastic.

Bob: Mind if I steal my wife?

Dwight: You can’t steal what is legally your property.

Bob: Are those staples?