Heavy Competition Quotes


 * See episode Heavy Competition

Dwight: When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland. There was just a lot going on, so what you wore to work was the least of anybody's worries. And in that chaos, I soared.

Charles: Michael, I want you to stop pestering my salesmen, and I want you to leave Dunder Mifflin alone. Do you understand?

Michael: I. Understand. Nothing. Dwight: [on phone] Dwight Schrute.

Michael: Hello, traitor.

Dwight: I think you have the wrong number, Michael.

Michael: I want you to listen to me, friend, and I want you to listen to me good. I am going to come at you, and I am going to come at you hard. I am going to steal all of your clients, and then I am going to kill them in front of you.

Pam: Michael!

Michael: I’m just getting hardcore with him.

Ryan: Finally. Michael: I hope you’re not recording this conversation. [Dwight drops his pants and lifts up his shirt] Good. I cannot believe that you sided with Charles. Andy: I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.

Jim: I just don't know if I can do it. Andy: That's interesting, because I hear what you're saying is that you want to do it, which means you can do it. Believe me, I broke up with Angela, and I'm like, the happiest guy ever. I mean, I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Like, total freedom, you know? Jim: It's just that Pam gets me through the day, you know? I really rely on her. I'm pretty emotionally needy. Andy: And you know what? I am here for you. Let me be your traveling pants.

Michael: It was a setup. Dwight told Charles. He told him. Pam: Tell us what you're talking about. Ryan: Yeah. Michael: It's like, a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon. Pam: We can't help you if you don't just tell us what happened. Michael: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, ok? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel? I don't know. Is that clear enough for you?

Michael: I color code all my info. I wrote “gay son” in green. Green means go, so I know to go ahead and shut up about it. Orange means “Orange you glad you didn’t bring it up?” Most colors mean “Don’t say it.”