Christmas Party Quotes


 * See episode Christmas Party

Michael: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, "Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth."

Creed: That's from me.

Jim: Great. Where'd you get it?

Creed: I don't know. It was so long ago.

[cut to talking heads]

Jim: He obviously forgot to get me something. So he went into his closet and dug out this little number, and then threw it in a bag.

Creed: Yep. That's exactly what happened.

Michael: So Phyllis is basically saying "Hey Michael, I know you did a lot to help out the office this year, but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth." I gave Ryan an iPod.

Kelly: I will steal the iPod.

Michael: In addition to these paintball pellets, your gift includes two paintball lessons with Dwight Schrute.

Dwight: You and me, Michael. Yes.

Michael: Who wants to take paintball lessons? How is that better than an iPod?

Dwight: I never said it was better than an iPod. (Michael pulls off Dwight's elf ears and throws them at his face) (In the talking head) Michael keeps bragging about his iPod. But you know what? Two paintball lessons with someone as expierienced as I am is easily worth like two grand. Take that, Saddam.

Michael: Last gift, Kevin.

Kevin: I want the footbath. That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. Maybe I should've taken the iPod. Oh shoot.

Dwight: Yankee Swap is like Machevelli meets....Christmas.

Michael: Uh oh. Looks like Santa was a little naughty.

Michael: Now you're the expert. Is this enough to get 20 people plastered?

Liquor Store Clerk: 15 bottles of vodka? Yea, that should do it.

Meredith: The deal is that this is my last hurrah, cause I made a New Year’s resolution that I’m not going to drink anymore. During the week.

Phyllis: Does everybody know my boyfriend, Bob Vance?

Kevin: Kevin Malone.

Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

Stanley: Stanley Hudson.

Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

Ryan: Ryan Howard.

Bob: Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.

Ryan: What line of work you in, Bob? Todd Packer: What’s up, m'nerds? Check it out. [points at the mistletoe stuck down his pants]