Test the Store Quotes

Toby: Self-defense is not some fun boxing match, okay? This is about escaping with your life. So… strike, scream, and run. All right? Let’s try it.

Creed: [smacks Meredith’s head] [screams] [runs out]

Meredith: Ow.

Toby: That may have been my fault.

Meredith: What the hell, Toby? Ryan: When people see this presentation, they’re gonna cum in their pants.

Dwight: Okay.

Jim: Come on, man.

Cathy: Seriously disgusting. Ryan: Sabre. It’s time to come home.

Jim: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think …it seemed like you were a little nervous.

Ryan: Yeah, no [bleep], Sherlock! Can somebody please tell me something encouraging about this presentation before I go out there in front of a million people and do it?

Dwight: Okay. I know, I know, champ. Calm down, just listen.

Ryan: You know what?

Dwight: You just need to realize that so much rides on this. You have no idea.

Jim: Dwight.

Dwight: I’m trying to make him feel important.

Ryan: God. I wish Kelly were here. She always knew what to say.

Dwight: Um… [imitating Kelly] Oh, Ryan, you’re so smart. You’re smarter than Mark Zuckerberg and those Google guys all combined. Hee hee hee.

Ryan: You’re so ignorant. You barely know what you’re talking about. That is so ridiculous. You really need to read a couple books.

Dwight: What’s a book? [giggles]

Ryan: On my God. You’re so embarrassing. My mom would say the best stuff, though.

Jim: [ahem] You can… [slightly effeminate] You can do it, Ryan.

Ryan: And you know that I’m capable of this.

Jim: You’re the only one who can do it, s-sweetie.

Ryan: What did you think of the presentation?

Jim: I thought it was great, sweetie. I would just fix that one —

Ryan: Oh! “Fix” means you hate it! I knew it! I need something to drink!

Dwight: Jim, get him a water.

Ryan: No, not a water. A sports drink. I hate everything in that fridge. Not red! Get me something yellow or green from a nearby store. Not red!

Dwight: Why are you just standing there? Go to a nearby store and get him a yellow or green sports drink!