Subtle Sexuality: The Music Video

Subtle Sexuality: The Music Video is the third and final episode of The Office web series The Office: Subtle Sexuality. It was written by Nate Federman and Jonathan Hughes and directed by Mindy Kaling, who made her directorial debut with these webisodes.

The episode aired on October 29, 2009.

Synopsis
Erin and Kelly talk about the music video that they created and shot, and Andy barges into the conference room to tell Kelly and Erin that he is done. They watch the music video, in which Andy is Nard Dog, Erin and Kelly wear gold spandex, and Ryan is Mr. Understood.

Cast

 * Mindy Kaling as Kelly Kapoor
 * B.J. Novak as Ryan Howard
 * Ellie Kemper as Erin Hannon
 * Ed Helms as Andy Bernard

Lyrics
You don't return my texts
 * Kelly

You say my phone don't get no texts

Whatcha you got, A-D-D?

Add it up, don't equal you and me

Like Shakespeare said, "To be or not to be"

Sometimes you're Romeo with me.

But if you ever leave me again,

I'll down a bottle of baby asprin.

I swear! I'll do it!

(CHORUS)

You're a male prima donna

But I can't help but want 'cha

I'm an independent diva

But I still kinda need ya

Together we're apart

It's tearing up my heart

I'm in hell and nirvana

'cause you're my male Prima Donna

You slammed her finger in the car door
 * Erin

Didn't say you're sorry, love is war,

She got stitches, it really hurt

That's her blood on your Polo shirt

You're cute but you think you're blazin' hot

You're short and you think you're not,

You look gay in your skinny tie!

I hope you get killed in a drive-by!

(CHORUS)

You're a male prima donna

But I can't help but want 'cha

I'm an independent diva

But I still kinda need ya

Together we're apart

It's tearing up my heart

I'm in hell and nirvana

'cause you're my male Prima Donna

Once upon a time, she was just a girl, living in this world
 * Andy

Then you came along, with your irresistible charm

You drive a girl wild when you flash that sexy smile

'cause before she met you things were going okay,

So go awaaaaaaay.or staaaaaay!

They call me Mr. Understood
 * Ryan

'cause no one understands me.

But when I spit rhymes

everybody buys my CD.

You get out of the car so slow,

how was I supposed to know?

You keep saying stuff behind my back,

then how come I got the number one track?

I'm the OG prima donna.

My rhymes bite like piranha,

Hotter than a sauna,

Straight out of Lackawannaaaaaa!

(CHORUS)

You're a male prima donna

But I can't help but want 'cha

I'm an independent diva

But I still kinda need ya

Together we're apart

It's tearing up my heart

I'm in hell and nirvana

'cause you're my male Prima Donna

Male Prima Donna

Male Prima Donna

Male Prima Donna

Trivia

 * The song in the music video, "Male Prima Donna" was the number 1 music video and number 4 song on iTunes at its peak.
 * Kelly's finger brace switches fingers during the music video.
 * The line in the song taken from Shakespeare's "Hamlet" "To be or not to be..." deals with life and death. In the next few lines Kelly says that she will "down a bottle of baby aspirin".