The Incentive Quotes


 * See episode The Incentive

Pam: Kevin, do you feel OK?

Kevin: Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.

Kevin: Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say “car no go”, and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?

Kevin: When me President, they see. [nodding and smiling] They see.

Dwight: Here’s how I’m going to help out from now on. I’m going to not care, and I’m going to sit around quietly waiting for Andy’s inevitable demise.

Andy: Alright. For five hundred points, I will wear a dress to work. [laughter]

Jim: That’s pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?

Andy: I’ll run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding-dong. [laughter] Yeah? You like that? Alright! For five thousand points, I will let you tattoo whatever you want on the stern of the old SS Bernard![Andy points to his rear-end] Robert: You can just put it down.

Erin: Oh

[Erin sets cup down and Robert sips it]

Robert: That is very cold.

Erin: Yeah. It’s old. [smiling]

Robert: Why would I…..?

Erin: I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said “coffee”… Stanley: [On the phone] You’ve got to unleash the power of the Pyramid!

Jim: I don’t know what to tell you, man.

Andy: You think it has something to do with that incentive program?

Jim: Oh, one hundred percent. We all want to see you tattoo your ass.

Tattooer: Uh sir? You don't have to take off your pants

Andy: They are already off, my good sir!

Tattooer: I prefer they're on.

Robert: There’s something about an underdog that really inspires…the unexceptional.