Lecture Circuit Part 2 Quotes


 * See episode Lecture Circuit Part 2

Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.

Dwight: (from another room) What did you do?!

Kelly: Stop yelling at me!

Dwight: What did you do?!

Kelly: I didn't do anything!

Dwight:  What did you learn in there? I bet you learned something there, like how to fashion a sieve. Hmm?

Jim: Hey, what the hell's going on?

Dwight:  Why don't you tell Jim where you were from ages 14 to 15..

Kelly: I was kicking it.

Dwight: In juvie.

Jim: What?

Dwight: Juvie... nile detention center? where they send teenagers.

Jim: Yep.

Dwight: For reha-

Jim: Got it.

Dwight: What did you do? Huh?

Jim: Hey, Dwight, sounds like she was 14, so maybe we wanna go a little easy.

Dwight: Yeah, if she's old enough to get married, she's old enough to follow the law. [to Kelly] What did you do?

Kelly:My boyfriend dumped me, so, I stole his boat. I mean, he told me it was his boat. It was actually his father's. And I just thought it'd be really romantic, like "Thelma and Louise", but with, like, a boat. And it was the worst year of my life. And I can't believe that you guys are making me talk about this on my birthday!

Dwight: I thought you said yesterday was your birthday!

Jim: Hey, you know what? I got you a cake.

Kelly: Really? I want to see the cake.

(we now cut to the kitchen area. Inside are Jim, Dwight, Kelly, and Phyllis. Jim shows a plain cake without flowers and her name.)

Jim: And, ta-da.

Kelly: I hate it. Jim:How do you hate it? It's a cake.

Kelly:Well, there's no flowers... or toys... or--- I mean, there's nothing on it. Where did you even find a cake like this? I mean, it doesn't have my name on it! Do you guys know what my name is? My name is Kelly!

Jim: Right. (in confessional) I forgot if there was an "e" between the "l" and the "y." I still don't know.

Kelly: I mean, I don't even know what the theme is. What's the theme?!

Dwight: Frosting.

Jim: Birthday.

Kelly: Those aren't... themes. There's always a theme. [walks out].

Phyllis: There's always a theme.

Dwight: Nice job on the cake, Bozo!

Jim: OK. You know what? Next time, I'll let you get the cake, and I get to scream at the birthday girl.