The Seminar Quotes


 * See episode, The Seminar


 * [Michael bumps into David Brent coming out of an elevator]
 * David: Oh, sorry, mate.
 * Michael: [in a poor British accent] "Oh, sorry, mate. Excuse me, mate."
 * David: [laughing] What are you doing?
 * Michael: English.
 * David: You're picking on the wrong person, I can tell you that much.
 * Michael: No, no, I'm not picking on you at all! You're English, correct?
 * David: Yeah, big time, yeah. Who are you?
 * Michael: I'm working on an English character. It's called Reginald Pooftah.
 * David: Oh! David Brent, my liege. How are you?
 * [they shake hands]
 * Michael: Michael Scott.
 * David: Oh, righty-o. I do characters as well. I got a Chinese fella. Not politically correct, but he's called Ho Lee [bleep]. That's what it sounds like.
 * Michael: I do Ping!
 * David: "Herro! Herro!"
 * Michael: "Herro, I'm Ping!"
 * David: You can't do that these days.
 * Michael: No, no, no, and people don't understand that it has nothing to do with making fun of a different nationality.
 * David: No, no, comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said! Hahahahaha!!!
 * [Michael hugs David]
 * Michael: That's good! A pleasure to meet you!
 * David: Where are you working?
 * Michael: Dunder Mifflin.
 * David: Any jobs going?
 * Michael: No, not right now.
 * David: Just let me know.
 * Michael: Alright. See you around.
 * David: OK, man.
 * Michael: Bye-bye. [David walks off] What a nice guy.


 * Creed: Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question: Why are you here?

Kevin: There are some people who have charm and some people who don’t. Guess which type I am. Charm type. Kelly: Who am I? I’m Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch.

Kelly: It is important to brand yourself, so I have a couple of things in works. “The Business Bitch”, “The Diet Bitch”, “The Shopping Bitch”, “The Etiquette Bitch.”