Fun Run Quotes


 * See episode, Fun Run

Michael: Ok, well I did not get the job in New York, but I got the real prize, domestic bliss. Jan made me breakfast this morning… well she bought the milk. It’s soy. [walks into bedroom, Jan sleeping on bed] This is why I do it, that’s what I have to come home to. [sighs] She probably won’t be up for a few hours. Michael: This is going to be a very good year. Very good. Jan is at home. Jim is back. My protege Ryan is at corporate. Good stuff. Um… Andy and Dwight are rockin’ the sales team. I feel very blessed. [slams on breaks, camera turns, Meredith rolls off the hood] Kevin: Are you kidding me, Pam and Jim are totally hooking up. All they do is smile; they’re just keeping it a secret. Right? [looks at Oscar]

Oscar: I don’t know, there is no evidence of intimacy. They’ve been in remarkably good moods. It could be other things.

Kevin: Are you kidding me? Jim: One day, Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway... I wonder who he ran over then.

Michael: Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael: Well, I am taking responsibility. It is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I’m not superstitious, but… I’m… I am a little-stitious.

Creed: I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.

Michael: Is there a God? If not, what are all the churches for? And who is Jesus’ dad?

Kevin: Oh well, if they aren’t together now, then they probably never will be. I thought they’d be good together, like PB&J. Pam Beasley and Jim. What a waste. What – A – Waste!

Pam: They say, if you're nervous around someone, you should picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy - try picturing them with more clothes on, or a funny coat.

Michael: And I’d like you to take a look into the face of rabies. [turns around a picture of Meredith in the hospital] That should scare you.

Darryl: Look how happy he is.

Michael: He’s happy because he’s insane.

Michael: You don’t, you don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.

Michael: Finishing that 5k, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water, than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well today I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart, and while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I’m very, very proud of that.